Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Current Location: Washington D.C.
Next Destination: Raleigh, NC
Miles Driven: 5472 miles
I'm actually in Savannah, GA right now. Now this place is very south. I haven't had time to update the blog up to where I am so I'm just posting up what I wrote while I was in Washinton DC. As soon as I get a chance, I'll update the rest from Nashville, DC, Raleigh, Myrtle Beach, Charleston, Savannah, and onto South of Florida. Hope all is well and in case I don't get a chance till Thanksgiving, happy turkey day to y'all!
Note to self: blog more frequently. I'm trying to remember everything that happened since Columbus. It's only been a little over 2 weeks but it feels like it's been a month. OK, here it goes.
Our 2nd night in Columbus didn't disappoint either. Let's see. We found a motel to stay in since none of us felt quite comfortable staying with Troy again after the fiasco the night before. This was around 5pm. The motel we were trying to get to was a bit of distance away and Troy wasn't home to let us in to get our stuff, so what are 3 boys from CA to do? Yes y'all guess it right....BEER! As great Homer has once said, "Beer...the cause and solution to all life's problems". So we all headed to McFadden which turned out to be first of the three McFadden's I would visit in the next 3 weeks.
I called Troy once we got there to invite him and and his gf to dinner and drinks. He was at his gf's presentation till 8 so we had 3 hours to kill. So hot wings, irish nachos, potato skins, 2 beers, 1 cadillac margarita, 1 shot of jager, 2 g&t's, a hot, young, fun bartender named Anastagia who we "think" we were trying to recruit to come on the road trip with us (who actually ended up going to the emergency room for gnarly cut to her fingers while trying to cut limes for our g&t's after taking a shot of jager with us) later, we met up with Troy and his girl Ela (sp?). We headed over to another bar where we met these two random mexican dudes who insisted on buying us rounds of drinks as soon as we walked in, ate more wings and nachos, drank couple more beers, and kicked it with Troy and his girl. I guess a couple of beers and dinner melted some of Troy's anger away cuz he offered up his place for us to stay in before he left, which we all graciously and gladly accepted. (Thanx again Troy!) After Troy and Ela took off, we all headed to a total kitty bar called "Out or In" where they had beer-refills-for-a-dollar night. Yeah a wonderful idea after a non-stop drinking since 5pm.
This place was basically the Columbus version of Kip's plus the smoking. Throw young college students and cheap shitty beer in the same joint and see what happens. We drank more beer, talked to all kinds of people (by the way, for you CA boys, columbus is the place to be. I guess we CA boys stick out of the crowd, but these chicks eat you up when you tell'em you are from CA), and went on our own missions. Mark went home with a group of chicks we were talkign to where his night involved rap battling with bums, high speed racing on a freeway, getting interogated/almost getting his ass kicked by random male friends of the girl for his credibility, getting almost maulled by a pit-bull, and a 3am death-metal jam session. This has got to be the most amount of shit a guy had to go through just to get into a girl's pants. Eytan chased after a girl on the street and ended up going home with her where he went on a 5am jimmy-hat search mission and woke up in a puddle of mysterious liquid on the girl's bed (to this day, we are not sure what the liquid was, it didn't smell liek urine). Maybe I should've gone back to those chicks' place with Mark but I just wanted to go home so I started walking back by myself. By the way, I didn't bring a jacket out, so I was walking back to Troy's place which was at least 5 miles away in just my T-shirt, and this is late October in OH at 2 in the morning...it was fuckin' freezing. I had gotten a sadnwich on my way back and was having the hardest time trying to eat it while walking back cuz I was shaking so badly. After about 2 blocks, I saw a cop car so I just ran across the street and begged him to take me back to Troy's place. I must have looked ridiculous. I had a half-eaten sandwich in one hand, the other hand and my mouth covered in hot sauce and mayonaise, most definitely smelling like booze, in a T-shirt at 2 am in the middle of empty street all by myself, begging this cop to take me to a "friend's" house which I didn't know the exact location and where no one was home. (Troy was at Ela's.) Long story short, my situation must have sounded pathetic enough to him cuz the cop agreed to take me back to Troy's even though it meant leaving his patrol zone. The cop must have been so suspicious of me....when I got to Troy's place (at this point, he's already looked up my DUI record in CA and I'm travelling on this "veg oil" truck that wasn't even there cuz Bertha was in the shop), it took me forever to find the key under the door mat cuz it was pitch dark, no one was home, I couldn't figure out how to open the door for awhile cuz I was too drunk....ha..it's a miracle he didn't book me into a drunk tank. Anyways, thanx officer. I appreciate you serving the public! I was so relived to have made it back to Troy's and all I wanted to do was just pass out peacefully but that ended up being a hopeful thinking.
I got woken up at 3:30am by a call from a random dude who asked me if I had a friend named Mark and if my truck was broken down. I told him yes before I could ask what it was regarding, he hung up. So now I am thinking something had gone terribly wrong with Mark at the chick's place so I called him back where I got the recorded message for 30 min. By the way, Mark didn't bring his phone out so there was no way of me to reach him. The strange number that showed up on my phone was the only way for me to even remotely locate Mark. Now I was convinced he was getting his ass kicked by some random dudes somehwere in Columbus. I tried calling the number back for another 30 min just to get the recorded messsage every time. Now I was worried and didn't know what else I could do. I even considered calling the cop back who gave me the escort to file a report, but I decided to give the number one more try. To my surprise, Mark picked up. Even though his tone wasn't very convincing, he sounded calm and told me that things were under control and he would talk to me about it in the morning. Alright...at least he's ok. I went back to sleep, just to be woken up again in 2 hours by Troy coming in to get ready for work. I was so hungover and out-of-it, I didn't really talk to him at all. Looking back on it, I wonder what Troy thought of us. Only 1 out of 3 guys was home, and the one who was home was hung-over, probably still drunk, out of his mind and this was the guy who got his car towed the night before. Now you know the story, Troy. Troy left and I went back to sleep, just to be woken up again in an hour by Eytan knocking on the door. When I answered the door, Eytan was soaked in this "mysterious" liquid and was too grossed out to sleep over at the chick's house so he just snuck out of the place and cabbed it home. (Ha...the chick probably thinks Eytan pissed the bed and snuck out.) I'm amazed that he found Troy's place. Props to your memory, Eytan! After hearing about Eytan's night and exchanging some laughs, we went back to sleep, just to have to wake up in 2 hours to go talk to mechanics at the shop. This was our 2nd night in Columbus, OH.
The next day, we were all hurting badly from the night before. Despite our vicious hangovers, we had a road to hit. We picked up Bertha, recorded some footage, found a motherload of WVO at a local fish and chip place (Thanx Harry!), bought a bottle of wine and some groceries for Troy for all his troubles (Thanx again T!) and headed toward Louisville, KY. The drive from Columbus to Lousiville wasn't anything spectacular since we drove through the dark but it was a very memorable one for me. So far, most of times when I was driving, I would be on an auto pilot mode, almost in a meditative state, thinking about whatever was on my mind at the time (which had been very therapeutic for me), but for the first time on this trip, I was having conversations, laughing, just having a ball while I was driving. It was a nice refreshing change of pace. We drove through Cincinatti which was a lot bigger than we expected, had some rivoting conversations about our past "experiences", heard one of the most amazing description of man's feelings toward his woman on the radio (it was something along the lines of "I wanna dedicate this song to my lady who had painted a picture on the canvas of my heart using her color of love"...this guy had a way with his words), and before we knew, we were already in KY.
We stopped at a gas station in the middle of KY somewhere to fill up Bertha with WVO. As soon as we walked into the station to use the bathroom, we instantly knew we were out of our elements. Just the thickness of these people's accent was amazing. We were definitely in the south now. We filled up and drove the last stretch to get to Louisville, KY where Eytan's high school friend, Audrey, was waiting for us.
We met up with Audrey at a local brewery in Lousville, had dinner (they had the best hot wings yet on this trip....by the way, it would turn out than the 3-man wrecking crew would eat hot wings at almost every meal during our stretch of journey), and Audrey took off early due to her work next day. We weren't qutie ready to go to sleep yet, so we decided to go have a beer at Big Dave's where we heard one of the most excruciatingly painful karaoke singing ever in my life (and trust me, I've heard some bad BAD karaoke singing...my own included). We couldn't bare to listen to that cacophony one minute longer so we got the hell out of there as soon as we possibly could. We were not feeling too rowdy after last night's debauchery but weren't quite ready to call it a night yet. We just wanted to kick back, relax, and have a few more beers before going back to Audrey's. So after much careful contemplation, we came up with Godfather's....a local strip club. This would turn out to be one of the worst ideas EVER...
We drove to the other side of the town to go to this local "hot" strip joint. We paid $7 for cover, walked in, and the place was straight up empty. Instantly, these girls were on us like a pack of leaches, and for the rest of the night, they would sit with us, exchange some superficial filler conversations, and tried to get us to buy them drinks. By the way, drinks for dancers were $20/drink....YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT!...you would have to do a lot more than shake your titties in my face if I'm gonna buy your a $20 drink. We just wanted to kick back, have some beers while having some titties thrown in our faces....is that too much to ask? What is this conversation bullshit? Sorry if I sound like a such male, but I felt like this was a violation of promised service. I don't come to strip clubs to conversate, buy you drinks, and hang out with you. I come to strip clubs to watch you dance naked, admire your beautiful female body, (not that any of these strippers had admirable bodies), and to have you use your female prowess and power to tease, control, play with me just to be reminded of what a visually-stimulated, instinctual man I am who can never get enough of titties. Anyways, in retrospect, we are convinced that the place wasn't actually a strip club.....we think it was more of a brothel. They kept hinting at how we should get the VIP room cuz you get "special" attention and service. After about an hour of this bullshit (we did learn that the head dancer's been stripping since she was 15), we had enough, so we got out of there. Single worst strip club experince EVER! We all drove back to Audrey's place and passed out. Funny how our idea of a low-key night is going to a strip club and staying out till 4am. That's how we roll baby! By the way, sorry if we were being loud Audrey and thank you so much for offering up your place.
The next day, we woke up at noon once again for the 3rd day in a row (actually I woke up at 10...dont' ask me why..I just couldnt' sleep), went to a coffee shop to grab some much-needed coffee, and looked up some info about the Bourbon country in the back country of Kentucky. We decided to go to one in particular: Maker's Mark distillery which was about 2.25 hours away and the last tour of the day was in about 2 hours. As soon as we learned of this time crunch, I'm yet to experience the 3-man wrecking crew move so decidedly, fast, and efficinetly as we did getting out of that coffee shop to make it Maker's Mark distillery before closing. Mark looked up directions, Eytan recorded some much needed footage for the documentary while I made some adjustment to Bertha's idling speed, and we were out of the place in less than 5 minutes. We were on a mission. We had bourbon to taste. It wasn't gonna drink itself.
The drive through the backcountry of Kentucky was beautiful. Winding roads, rolling hills, farms, ranches, animals, color-changing trees....it was incredibly scenic, but we were in some serious boonies. This was the real back country. We were on roads that weren't even on our maps, so it took some head scratching and asking, but we managed to make it to the distillery 15 minutes past the tour time. We had called the distillery earlier so they actually waited for us to arrive. The next 2 hours we spent touring through the distillery was the best 2 hours ever spent.
The tour was fantastic! There were only 5 people in the tour so we got up-close-and-personal attention, and our tour guide was this young, hot, funny, charming southern girl. (God....watching her stick her arms into vats of fermenting sour mesh and tasting it off her fingers was one of the sexiest thing I've ever seen a woman do.) We got to dip our hands and arms into all these vats of mesh and got to taste them. Yeah I know...kinda gross...but they swear the double distillation process gets rid of any germs. Anyways, that was the highlight of the tour. Maker's ferment their mesh for 3 days before distilling it twice then cask it roasted oak barrels and age them for minimum 3 years. Maker's Mark is one of the very few, if not the only, bourbon (which is basically American whiskey of which its mesh consists of at least 51% corn....there are other rules like, the final product can't be more than 160 proof and it can't barreled higher than 125 proof, has to age for at least 2 years, etc.) that doesn't have the number years it's aged in the casks. They go strictly by taste, so a bottle of Maker's you pick up at Safeway next time, might have been aged for 5 years, and Maker's on the rocks you get at Beckett's next Saturday might have been aged for 3 years. Anyways, sorry to bore y'all with all these details, but what can I say? I'm a booze nerd. Anhyways, I highly recommend anyone travelling through Kentucky to do the Maker's tour. It's worth the drive and your time.
After the tour, we headed for Nashville, TN. Along the way, we stopped at Lincoln's childhood home and visited Hogenville where they were having some community trick or treat ritual. It looked pretty cool. Instead of having kids wonder around the town, the entire town organizes this centralized trick or treat in their town center where businesses and individuals give out candy. So there was this huge circle of kids dressed up in their costume going around the town circle collecting candy. Small town, safe, organized holidy ritual....I can dig it. We tried to film us talking to locals and whatnot, but we felt so out of place there. We were definitely getting the "look" as we were walking around. Anyways, we felt like such foreigners and strangers there, we ended up interviewing only one person. Once again, the thickest southern accent I've ever heard. We took off from Hogenville, bought our Halloween outfit at a dollar store (3 t-shirts and 3 hats for $3...unbelievable), ate dinner at this crazy gas station restaurant where we were served by cigarette smoking, toothless, waitress, and finally arrived in our final destination: Nashville, TN....the music city they call it.....in the next 3 days I spent here, I would grow to fall in love with this hospitable, vibrant, fun & music loving city.
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